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Madison squeezed the toothbrush into the small pocket in the front of the large suitcase. Gripping the handle of the suitcase and headed towards the staircase. The suitcase slid down each stair with a thud as she struggled against the heavily weight of it as it slipped and wobbled at her side. Lifting the suitcase down to the foot of the stairs, she began to pull the suitcase along the corridor towards the front door – the wheels of the suitcase moved unwillingly along the thick carpet. Madison stopped as she passed the doorway of the lounge. She stood motionless, horrified by the sight of Phil’s war path. The room had been completely turned upside down, torn up newspapers and magazines covered the carpet. The coffee table had been thrown across the room at the TV, bits of wood and glass covered the floor on the far side of the room. The unexplained bang Madison had heard earlier was the screen of the TV smashing as Phil launched the coffee table at it. Empty whiskey bottles had been smashed against the walls and the sofa had been tipped over onto its back, there was a strong smell of whiskey and urine wafting around the room. The cushions from the sofa had been ripped and were damp from where Phil had urinated on them.
Madison was in complete shock by the amount of destruction Phil had caused. She hadn’t heard half the destruction he had caused while she slept, only waking towards the end of his rampage. She stepped into the room carefully, trying not to step on any glass. Glass crunched under the black Ugg boots Madison had put on before leaving her bedroom. She headed towards the arm chair as it appeared to be the only item of furniture left standing. She stared around the room in horror, anger flickered in - she hated Phil for what he had done to her and for repeatedly ruining their home.
Without a second glance, she grabbed her black leather handbag from the back of the arm chair and rushed back to the corridor to retrieve the suitcase. She took one last look at the destroyed room as she threw the strap of her handbag over her shoulder before pulling open the front door and carrying the suitcase out onto the garden path. Madison closed the front door behind her. She glanced up one last time at the three bedroom house. The light from Madison’s bedroom and the living room, made the house appear occupied and homely, but there was no family in that house. It was an empty shell – lifeless. The house had always been full of life and joy when Heidi was alive, but the atmosphere and house had died alongside Heidi.
A gust of wind hit Madison, pushing her hair out wildly behind her. The icy breeze sent shivers flying down her spine, she felt anxious and uncomfortable in her own skin. A heavy weight weighed down on her chest restricting her breathing and she knew that leaving was the only way to relieve the pressure on her chest.
She turned towards the road, looking left and right - checking whether one of the neighbouring houses curtains were twitching with nosy neighbour syndrome. The street was silent and empty. There was a dim orange glow from the windows of the neighbouring houses, but no indication that they had heard any of the commotion that had happened in the Davies household earlier. All of the neighbouring houses had become accustomed to Phil destructive behaviour. The first few instances when they had called the Police, Phil only got a warning, but as the rampages continued the Police did less and less – he hadn’t caused any harm to anyone and it was his property he was destroying, so they didn’t care. They concluded that Phil was harmless towards the community and that he should seek professional help for his alcohol addiction and the cases against him were dropped. Of course Phil never did anything about his addiction and the neighbours stopped calling the Police as they never did anything about it. Everyone within the street just ignored what happened in the three bedroom house - they ignored both Madison and Phil.
Madison signed loudly. A ball rose in her throat as she realised this was the last time she would be at the house where she had grown up in. She swallowed hard, forcing down the lump and pushing the sorrow to the back of her mind. Although the tears had stopped, the intense pain and emptiness inside her was still present. Grabbing the grey handle of the suitcase, Madison headed down the garden path pulling the large suitcase behind her. The wheels of the suitcase wobbled on the uneven concrete, shaking the suitcase vigorously. She turned left when she reached the end of the garden path - heading down the sidewalk, her body limp as she struggled to find the energy to pull the heavy suitcase behind her. Her mind was absent. Her body seemed to know exactly where she was going without her making the conscious decision. She looked like a zombie shuffling slowly down the sidewalk, wearing foundation an inch thick and her hair sticking out in all directions from a restless sleep. Her outside appearance meant little to her, she felt a lot worse inside then she did on the outside. Stephanie’s house was only down the road and Madison knew they would accept her without any questions, but the thought of Julie and Stephanie seeing her broken and battered was too humiliating for her to bare. She fought very hard over the years to prevent herself from portraying any kind of sorrow in front of people. She didn’t want anyone to know what sort of life she lived - she didn’t want anyone to pity her. The last time Madison shed a tear in front of another person was when her Mother died. Since then, she always ensured that her appearance was like stone, even though sometimes she was falling apart inside. Some people probably saw this as being heartless, but Madison saw this as not showing weakness. She didn’t want people to know what sort of life she had and she preferred them to believe the cool exterior she held most days. Anyway, Madison knew Julie’s and Stephanie’s would be the first place Phil would look for her if he wanted to find her. Stephanie’s house wouldn’t be far enough away for her to escape from Phil’s wrath. She would have to go somewhere where Phil would never think of - somewhere he would never suspect.
A thought Madison had never expected jumped into her head, the muscles in her legs tightened as they forced her to quicken her pace, her body now moving with determination and purpose. A destination had formed in her mind, somewhere no one would suspect apart from one person - Stephanie.
Madison approached the train station in the same determine and eager pace. Although her body seemed to be coherent and as raring to go as before, her facial features were blank with shock. Madison’s mind found it easier to deal with the stress and pain if it shut itself off, it was the only way she had been able to cope with everything over the years. Sadly, this was another attribute that she had unwillingly inherited from Phil, the incapability of being able to cope with immense sorrow. Madison always held it all inside, covering it with layer upon layer of falseness and hard exterior. Whereas Phil was more open to sharing his pain, punishing everyone around him with his sorrow, but at the same time never truly letting it out.
The surrounding road to the train station was dark and quiet. A large stream of light shone out onto the street from the station, lighting up the long concrete steps which lead up to entrance. The sound of large metal wheels screeching to a halt on metal rails surrounded the train station. Madison’s handbag vibrated at her side. She pulled the suitcase up onto the pavement from the road below, standing in front of the large stone steps ahead. Pulling her handbag off her shoulder, she searched through the many pockets and compartments until she pulled out a small black object. She flipped open the small oblong phone and pressed the OK button. It was a message from Stephanie:
Hey,
Hope your ok?
Are you still up for a drink tomorrow after work?
I’ve got some gossip for you! Xx
Madison read the message twice. She had completely forgotten she had arranged to meet Stephanie after work for a few drinks. The large golf ball rose in Madison throat. Clearing her throat, she tried to force the ball which had formed back down again. Her eyes welled up with fresh tears, but they did not spill out over her cheeks. Her heart ached as she struggled to think of the words to reply to Stephanie with, she had never been apart from Stephanie before and already a lost feeling was creeping in under her skin. After a few moments of contemplating what was the best thing to say, Madison gave up and threw the mobile phone back int
o her handbag. She decided that it was easier to call Stephanie once she had reached her destination, Stephanie would only freak out if she knew what Madison was planning and what had happened. Madison couldn’t cope with her best friend crying down the phone to her, begging her to stay. She knew she would crack if that were to happen - she hated it when Stephanie cried. Grabbing the handle of the suitcase, Madison pulled it up the steps towards the entrance of the train station. The muscles in her arm screamed with the weight of the large suitcase, she struggled to the top of the stairs walking through the automatic doors into the train station. An old man with white hair sat behind the counter at the ticket office in the entrance of the train station. He sat behind a large screen of glass that protected him from drunks and yobs that probably caused agro on a daily basis. He looked up as Madison as she approached the desk.
“Where too?” he asked, a false smile forced across his face.
“Waterloo” Madison said, unwilling meeting his eyes.
“Do you need the underground?” he asked, his eyes meeting with the large bulge underneath Madison left eye.
“Yes, please” she said, embarrassed.
“That‘ll be £29.30, please” he said as he slid the train ticket under the opening at the bottom of the glass.
Madison grabbed her purse out of her bag, unzipping each compartment and searching through the many receipts for some money. She had taken out £50 yesterday from the cash point when she was in town on her lunch break. Now though, her purse was completely empty, even the small amount of change she always had in her purse was missing.
“Phil” Madison muttered, realising he had stolen her money once again.
“Sorry?” the man behind the counter said, looking confused.
“Umm….do you take cards?” Madison said holding up her debit card.
The old, white haired man pointed towards the chip & pin machine to her left.
She inserted the card and fingered in her pin code. When her payment had been accepted she pulled out her card and placed it back inside her purse. She collected her ticket and suitcase, turning towards the platforms.
“Miss?” the man called after her.
Madison stopped dead in her tracks, turning slowly back towards him - eyeing him suspiciously.
“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes narrowing onto the reddish bulge on Madison’s face.
“I’m fine” she said sharply, suddenly feeling self-conscious.
The lump in her throat grew twice the size and throbbed painfully. Madison flashed him a weak, false smile and continued towards the platforms. The train station was dimly lit by large orange lampposts. A few vending machines lined the walls of the platforms and a small shop stood in the end corner of the platform, but it was closed. Large metal grills covered the windows and door of the shop. Litter scattered the platforms and the wind thundered around the station from the opening in the ceiling between the two platforms. The train station in Thatcham was very small and only two trains ran at a time on each platform. A steep stair case that went up thirty feet into the air which led onto the bridge divided the two platforms. There were no cafés or warm seated areas for Madison to wait for her train - both platforms were exposed to the elements.
Madison glanced at her train ticket, it stated that she needed to be on platform A. Glancing up at the platform signs, Madison headed towards the platform on her left. The train was already waiting by the platform. She jogged towards it, towing the suitcase behind her. The train hissed loudly as the driver realised the hydraulic brakes. The breeze carried a strong metallic smell from the trains burning brakes, the whistle blew as Madison approached the rear of the train.
Opting for the closest carriage door, Madison jumped through the doorway into the rear carriage. Her right arm complained painfully as she tried to hull the suitcase onto the train quickly alongside her. The door slid close as soon as the suitcase was clear of the gap. She sighed loudly as she stared into the empty carriage - a dozen empty seats lined either side of the carriage. Madison grabbed the handle on the top of the suitcase and carried it towards the closet seat to the right. She left the suitcase in the gangway and slumped down into the seat, her right arm throbbed as she let it lay limp on the cushion of the seat next to her. Carefully, she ran her fingers along the lump on her left cheek. A flicker of pain like a spider web of electricity ran through her head from the pressure of her finger tips. Madison winced and took a deep breath - letting out another loud sigh. The train jolted to life, pulling Madison torso forward as it built up speed. The large metal wheels clicked on the tracks, until there was smooth humming noise as the train reached high speed.
Sadness and relief washed over Madison. A hollow emptiness still clung to her insides, twisting around her vital organs, causing her to breathe fast and uneasy. The dull throbbing in her heart was still present, but the pain had eased slightly since leaving her family home - her mind still blank and incoherent. Madison felt like she wasn’t even really there, like the event that had occurred tonight was just a nightmare that she would eventually wake up from, but the dull ache of her heart and the throb of her injured face were too intense for her to be dreaming. Letting her head lay back against the back of the seat, Madison closed her eyes. A single tear forced its way out from underneath her eyelid and rolled down her right cheek and dripped off her jaw. Wincing from the pain in her right arm, Madison searched through her handbag. She pulled out a small, black ipod; unwinding the earphones she popped them carefully into each ear. She thumbed the play button and let her head roll towards the window. A heavy black veil of night hung over the outside of the train – preventing her from seeing anything apart from her own reflection in the window of the carriage. She winced at the sight of her swollen damaged skin, the foundation had concealed the bruising of the black eye which was forming, but her swollen eyelid had begun to droop down slightly. Her cheek had become very inflamed and purple bruising had started to form along the curve of her cheek bone. The foundation did little to conceal the large bulge of bruising and redness, causing Madison to feel more self-conscious then she had earlier. Two large dark circles hung underneath each eye and her skin was pale and dull, she looked tired and ill. Today’s event had taken its toll on her body, mental state and emotions. Madison felt the need to conceal the injury further, by applying additional layers of foundation, but she decided quickly against this - knowing that there was little she could do to conceal the newly formed bruising. Hopelessness flooded in - Madison leant her head against the window, her eyes falling towards the floor. Allowing her body to hang limp in the comfort of the seat of the train, she let the music take her over. Her heart beat matching the low strum of a guitar and the soft, slow flow of a husky voice. The music passed through every molecule of her body moulding it into the rhythm of the music. Every muscle relaxed and tightened in response to the higher and lower verses of the song.
Madison closed her eyes tight as the sadness bubbled under the surface. Tears tried to escape from underneath her eyelids, but she fought them back - letting the music portray her feelings.
Chapter Three: London
When Madison and Stephanie were in high school they fantasised about moving to London together. They talked for hours about renting an apartment and discussing how they would furnish it with expensive silks and exotic items they brought back from one of the many holidays they would take together. Stephanie would always finish the conversation with “Don’t worry I’ll buy us an 1800ft penthouse above Regent Street when I’m a rich actress”. Stephanie had always aspired to become an actress from a very early age. The truth was, she wasn’t any good at it, but that never stopped her dreaming of the red carpets of the Golden Globe Awards. She had a habit of freezing when put under pressure and laughing uncontrollable when embarrassed or nervous about something. So it wasn’t so much as case of Stephanie being a rubbish actress, but she physically couldn’t get up in front of people and act. This was the reason why she continued to work as a waitress in
the small Chinese restaurant in Thatcham, chop sticks - she was waiting for her ‘big break’. Stephanie saw no point changing job roles as she knew acting was all she wanted to do with her life even though she struggled with nerves and when she eventually made it as an actress, she would make Madison her assistant - as well as best friend and advisor.
The decision to move to London had always been lingering at the back of Madison’s mind. London had always been a safe haven for her and Stephanie, somewhere where Madison could run too - escaping Phil and the life she had longed to be rid of. She had made the decision to go to London unconsciously. It was an instinct that had been triggered when Phil’s fist impacted with her face. It had become Madison’s destiny - Phil had knocked her physically onto the right path.
Madison stirred; movement awoke her from a semi-unconscious sleep. She had been drifting in and out of consciousness for over an hour, only waking up a few times to check that she was still alone in the carriage and that her possessions were still by her side. Now, two boys entered the carriage through the automatic doors that led through to the next carriage. They were both dressed completely in black, wearing identical black jeans and plain black, hooded jumpers. The black hoods of their jumpers pulled up over their heads, shielding their faces in shadow. Although their faces were covered their body frames were no bigger than an fifteen year olds.