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  “Where too, miss?” the taxi driver asked in a husky voice.

  Madison thought for a moment, realising that she hadn’t planned this far ahead. She knew she wanted to come to London, but what she would do or where she would go now that she was here remained a mystery. For now, a travel lodge seemed the most feasible option, and to look for something more permanent tomorrow along with a job.

  “The nearest travel lodge” she said strapping the seat belt on firmly and gazing back out the window.

  The two sets of black hollow eyes haunted Madison thoughts. The ghostly expressions of the two boys floated around her head like a nightmare that she couldn’t awake from. As her brain mudded over every instance that had occurred tonight, her subconscious kick-started and began to rationalize with her with what she had actually seen. She had been under a lot of stress? Phil had struck her, maybe she was suffering slightly from concussion? The lights in the train terminal may have caused a shadow from the two boy’s hoods causing her imagination to get the better of her?

  Eventually she came to the conclusion that her eyes must have been playing tricks on her and that it was better if she forgot what she saw entirely. However, rationalizing couldn’t prevent the sinking feeling in her gut that implied what she had seen was real and somehow it would lead her to danger. Exhaustion and anxiety crept back in now that the fuzzy feeling of Brendan being around had now disappeared. Anxiety gripped at her chest, tightening it and causing her discomfort. The taxi hit a bump in the road, Madison shifted in her seat trying to get comfortable again. She rested the side of her head against the cold glass of the car window. Her thoughts hovered over the image of Brendan’s face, his pale smooth skin, the 9 o’clock shadow that covered his jaw line and around his pink slim lips, the hypnotizing beauty of his crystal blue eyes, and how they drew Madison in - undressing her body and soul. Madison shuddered as a shiver flew down her spine causing her whole body to tingle from head to toe. She was infatuated with him, he was the most gorgeous man she had ever seen and probably would ever see in her life time. She winced and grabbed her chest as the deep aching hole that once contained her heart threatened to erupt through her rib cage. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, breathing through the pain and fighting back the tears that threatened to spill out over her cheeks. The cold window of the taxi felt refreshing on her forehead and she found comfort in the image of Brendan’s face. Slowly Madison eyelids fell shut, instantly allowing her body to become light and float freely into sleep.

  Chapter Four: Nightmares

  A stabbing pain filled the soles of her feet; it sent a shockwave of pain up her legs to her hips which distributed out evenly over her body. She had tunnel vision and everything around the corners of her vision was blurry and distorted, only allowing her to see what was directly in front of her. The air wiped around Madison like a bird of prey – circling her. Slowly, she began to realise she was running. The pounding of her feet as each foot leap out in front of her, the vast breeze of air that wiped by either side of her body as she built up speed. The aching of her calves as her muscles flexed, pushing her faster. She ran into nothing but darkness. The concrete beneath her feet was damp and simmered under a dim glow of a street lamp. Two green dumpsters lined a grey brick wall to her left, newspapers and empty takeaway containers scattered around the large dumpsters. She was running down an alley. The alley started to narrow and became increasingly darker as she ran on. The buildings around her were about fifty feet high and towered over her small frame. She began to feel Closter-phobic, the building threatened to fall upon her, trapping her in a mass panic. She picked up the pace and pushed herself faster, ignoring the sharp pain from the impact of both feet on the solid concrete with each stride. Her heart thumped hard in her chest, not just because she had pushed her body to move at great speed, but because she was terrified of something. Some unknown danger that she wasn’t aware she was running from until now. Madison’s face was pure horror, tears streaked her flushed cheeks as her eyes scanned the alleyway franticly for a place to hide or to escape from the unknown danger. The alley was closing in on her and the blackness that had always been lying there in front of her had now become threatening. There was no escape, only acceptance of what was to come. Madison wasn’t ready to accept the inevitable just yet, she wouldn’t go without a fight – so she kept running. She spun around trying to catch a glimpse of unknown danger that perused her, but the alleyway was empty. There was nothing but the darkness which swallowed the alleyway behind her. Even without the appearance of the danger, Madison knew it was still pursuing her – just outside the line of darkness. The thudding of her heart echoed through her ears and throbbed painfully in her head. A sense of complete hopelessness and surrender washed down upon her. Realisation that she could not escape this kind of danger was becoming clear. Her legs were like jelly and threatened to buckle beneath her. The strain of running and sheer terror was becoming too much for Madison and her weaknesses were beginning to show. She spun again, this time catching a glimpse of something lurking within the pursuing darkness. Her heart jumped into her throat, her sense became erratic and breathing increased with fear and panic. Madison’s eyes scanned the alleyway frantically as she prayed for a place to escape. Tears poured down her face and dry sobs croaked from her mouth. Two hands grabbed at either sides of her arms and she was lifted from her feet and pulled backwards so quickly that she didn’t have time to scream…

  “Miss? Miss?”

  Madison woke up with a jolt as she was rudely pulled back from the dream world. A bead of sweat ran down her cheek and dripped off the tip of her chin. Her eyes were weary with confusion. She glanced at the taxi driver, then back out of the car window before gazing back to the taxi driver once again. Madison touched her forehead with the palm of her hand; it was wet and sticky from the drying sweat. She eyed the Travel Lodge from the window. A beam of white light spilled out into the car park from the full length glass doors of the travel lodge. The taxi driver had stopped outside the entrance of the travel lodge, the engine of the car still running. Warm, musty air flowed out from the air vents of the car, causing Madison to feel slighting nauseous. The Travel Lodge was a newly built compared to the Travel Lodges in Thatcham, it was elegant and trendy and the reception walls were made completely out of glass. A few cars scattered the car park, but mostly the Travel Lodge looked nearly if not completely vacant.

  “Where here…” the driver said after a pause. He had twisted the whole of his upper torso around so he was peering at Madison from the front seat. His small pin-point eyes frowned at her suspiciously under two large thick bushy, grey eyebrows. He was in his late fifties, slightly overweight and had a very distinctive face with a large rounded nose complete with a thick grey moustache.

  “Um…thanks” Madison said, still feeling disorientated.

  “That’s £18, please” he said.

  Madison unzipped her handbag and pulled out her purse, her hands shook as she tried to pull open the zipper. The nightmare had affected her more than she realised, it had completely unnerved her. Normally, when you wake from a nightmare and realise it was just a dream the fear vanishes, but on the occasion the fear still remained. The terrible feeling you get just after you wake up from a nightmare still haunted her. Madison just about pulled out at £20 not and handed it to the taxi driver.

  “Keep the change” Madison said grabbing the door handle and pushing the car door open. The driver also got out of the car and met Madison at the rear of the car - he pulled the large blue suitcase out of the boot and placed it down on the concrete. In the dim light of a street lamp and overspill from the entrance of the Travel Lodge, dark circles were visible underneath his eyes. Deep lines creased his forehead and small wrinkles clung to either side of his mouth. Madison felt compassion for the old taxi driver, it was clear that he worked long hours trying to make ends meet and there was something in his eyes that showed a type of loneliness that she could relate to.

  “Good night” he said, slam
ming the boot shut and proceeding to get back into his vehicle.

  Madison watched him get back into the car, start the engine and do a U-turn before stopping at the junction to pull out onto the road. The night air was refreshing against her clammy skin; she inhaled a few deep breaths and watched until the taxi had travelled up the road until it was out of sight. Reluctantly Madison turned towards the two full length glass doors, grabbing the suitcase to which her arm protested immediately sending flares of pain up to her shoulder. She lugged the suitcase awkwardly towards the doors; they opened automatically as she approached. Inside the lobby the walls were painted a simple cream, stylish and modern paintings hung from each wall representing that the Travel Lodge was located in a stylish part of London. The colours of the painting swirled into each other - an array of different shades of reds and purples, beautifully separated with a thick strip of gold paint between each variance of colour. A few large pot plants filled empty corners of the room, making the lobby seem more homely. Three red, sink sofas circled around a glass coffee table centered in the middle of the room. The sofas were furnished with a cream cushions and fluffy white throws. In the centre of the far wall was a long wooden desk, it curved round so each side was closed off against the back wall. A wooden hinged allow reception staff members to enter and vacate the reception desk. The desk was a sandy beach colour which was varnished to shimmer under the bright florescent lights of the lobby. A mass of curly blonde hair was visible from the top of the receptionist desk.

  Madison took another deep breath and proceeded to walk slowly across the lobby to the front desk, pulling the suitcase behind her. The wheels of the suitcase squeaked on the polished wooden floor. As Madison approached the front desk, a young woman in her early twenties looked up and smiled at her. She had shoulder length strawberry blonde, curly hair and her features were soft - almost childlike. She wore little makeup apart from a tinted red lip gloss on her slim, small lips. She dressed a Travel Lodge uniform, which consisted of a light grey suit jacket, a grey skirt and a white shirt with a gold name badge which read, Tracey.

  “Hi Welcome to London Bridge Premier Travel Lodge, my name is Tracey. Can I offer you a room for the night?” she said vigorously, a toothy smile spread across her face.

  “Yes please” Madison said faintly, surprised at the level of excitement in her voice.

  She placed the palms of her hand down on the smooth surface of the front desk, letting go of the handle of the suitcase. Madison needed to steady her shaking hands more than anything. The events of the past few hours had taken its toll on her and now her body was starting to suffer the effects. She was emotionally and physically drained, it was a constant fight to stop her eyelids from falling shut and being sucked back into the dream world. Her mind still wondered over what had occurred with Phil and the distorted faces of the two hooded boys. The irritating ache of her damaged face still ate away at her and the crippling pain of a crushed heart remained beneath the surface.

  “Name?” Tracey asked.

  “Madison Davies” she said reluctantly.

  Tracey fingers tapped furiously on the keys of the keyboard, her eyebrows narrowed as she concentrated on the computer screen.

  “That’s £45 for the night” she said, looking up from behind the computer screen. Her eyes focused on the inflamed red patch on Madison‘s cheek, her smile slowly began to fade. Concern and curiosity flickered through her eyes as her brain ticked over all types of conclusions for Madison’s injury. Madison cleared her throat breaking Tracey’s stare. Tracey blinked several times, composing herself and making eye contact with her once again. Madison placed her handbag on the desk, unzipped it and pulled out her purse. She pulled out her debit card and inserted it into the chip and pin machine – thumbing in her pin number. Madison put her debit card back inside her purse once the transaction had been approved and returned her purse to her bag.

  Tracey opened a small draw in the desk fiddled around for a few seconds until she handed Madison a small flat piece of plastic the size of a credit card. Shyly Madison took the card and examined it.

  “Room 2B, down the hall to your left and it’s the fifth door along” Tracey said standing up from her chair and pointing towards the corridor to Madison’s left.

  “Thanks” Madison smiled weakly. Her eyes throbbed and her chest was tighter than before, she had to force the words out as grief and emotion began to rise within her.

  “Enjoy your stay” Tracey said happily.

  Madison nodded picking up her handbag from the desk, grabbing the handle of her suitcase and walking towards the corridor to the left. Five mahogany doors lined each side of the corridor, brass numbers sat central on each door labeling the rooms. Madison scanned the numbers of the door as she pasted them, lugging the heavy suitcase behind her. She stopped when she reached the last door on the left, 2B the brass door number read. Madison fiddled with the plastic key card for a second. A momentarily wave of doubt washed over her, she couldn’t help but wonder for a second whether she had done the right thing. Regret questioned whether leaving Phil had been the right decision? After all, Phil had over stepped the line tonight by striking Madison, there was nothing to suggest that he may over step the line again at some point - possibly start a fight with someone in a bar and end up in hospital or worse. These were all things Phil had done in the past, he always found his way home eventually whether it was a day or a week later, but over the years he had become more lazy and rarely left the house for anything less than a bottle of Whiskey.

  Guilt was something Madison felt often, but she wondered whether she should really feel guilty for someone that only noticed she was there when he wanted money for alcohol. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her head and inserted the key card into the lock. It buzzed and the small light on the door lock lit up green to symbolize the door had unlocked. Madison took the card out of the lock and pushed down on the handle of the door forcing it open. She dragged her suitcase into the pitch black room and let the heavy door close behind her. She fumbled around on the wall for a light switch, her fingers met the cold hard plastic and she flicked it on. The room was dim at first but the light soon became brighter, as the energy saving light bulbs warmed up. The room was cream with a chocolate brown carpet - newly decorated like the lobby. A double bed sat against the wall in the middle of the room, the bed sheets were white, fresh looking and clean. A dressing table stood to the right of the door, a kettle, two cups and arrangement of different teas and coffee placed neatly on top. A small flat screen TV sat next to the kettle and arrangements of beverages. On the far wall to the right were a small dresser and a door which lead through to the bathroom. Madison checked the room door was shut properly and turned the lock. Slowly she turned back to the empty room. Her body swayed for a second before she became consumed by her own thoughts. It was only for a brief moment but it was long enough for every tiny aspect of today to be repeated in her mind. The distance she had travelled to get away from Phil and the length she had gone to ensure no one knew where she was had been necessary. It would only be a matter of time before she would tell Stephanie where she was.

  Madison forced herself out of her mind and back into the world of the living. Her body was limp, her arms and legs shook like jelly and it was only a matter of time before the pain that gripped her broke free. Inside she had been destroyed and there was nothing but an empty pit inside her now. The darkness had always been there since her Mother’s passing, but now she had lost her Father completely there wasn’t worth anything to hold onto.

  Madison stumbled to the bathroom door and slipped inside. The bathroom was small and cramped – it was furnished white. The toilet stood at the end of the room, a basin to the left and bath/shower along from the basin. She headed to the mirror above the small white basin. She stared at herself in the mirror, she hardly recognise her own reflection. She had become a stranger to herself – she didn’t know who she was anymore. Madison had become completely lost in herself, moving to London
would give her the opportunity to become someone new – find herself again.

  She examined the damage on her cheek carefully, touching it gently with her finger tips. It was bright red and looked angry underneath the many thick layers of foundation. Seeing the damage visually made the bruising throb harder, before had been just a dull ache, now it pounded on Madison’s cheek causing her eyes to water.

  The shower was appealing to her, the hot water running over her body would wash away some of the pain. She wobbled to the side of the bath and turned on the water, gently pulling the shower curtain across. Lethargically, Madison pulled off her black jumper and white shirt, she sighed as the cool air tingled her naked skin. Reaching around she unclipped the hook of her bra, letting her small perk breasts relax against her chest. Madison kicked off her shoes unzipped her jeans and pulled them down along with her black pants, stepping out of them onto the cold titled floor. She popped one leg over the side of the bath, followed by the other until she was completely submerged under the hot water. Her whole body quaked as a shiver trembled down her spine. She stood in bath motionless, letting the hot water run down over her face onto her body. The hot water streaked through her thick foundation, allowing the true colour of the bruising to break through. She ran her finger through her long tangled hair, washing away any dirt that might be lodge within the matted hair. The hot water lifted the gate of emotions Madison had tightly sealed up until now. Every emotion she had locked inside came tumbling out. The anger, betrayal, pain, hopelessness and abandonment gushed out causing her legs to buckle beneath her. She fell to her knees on the floor of the bath tub with a loud thud. The hot water surrounded Madison in a cloud of steam; it bounced off her frail body into the bath. The tears flowed instantly, the barriers came down and she had no strength left inside her. Dry sobs erupted from her throat, she croaked as she whaled releasing some of the pain she had kept locked up until now. The sound of the water pouring from the electric shower, echoed throughout the bathroom. Her heart was broken. She struggled to breathe through the crippling pain in her chest. Madison took in large gulps of air trying to catch her breath, the thickness of the stream only made her cough and struggle further. Her body was damaged, her mind empty and her heart broken. She could deal with the pain; pain was something she had struggled with her entire life. Losing her Mother was a pain that would never truly go away. It was something that would stay with Madison for the rest of her life – an emptiness that would be always be there which could never be filled by anyone else than her Mother. A part of Madison was terrified by this darkness, emptiness inside her – if she allowed it, it would consume her entirely. There was also another part of Madison which imagined she would end up like Phil, a drunken wreck too broken hearted to deal with the simplest of everyday tasks – like simply living. Every day’s challenge was to reduce the pain by achieving the bottom of every whisky bottle, while sitting motionless hypnotized by the TV, before returning to the sweat and drink infested pit where you would wake up every day in your own vomit.