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  Madison had seen what unleashing the pain could do to a person, and she wouldn’t allow that to ever happen to her. She knew how to cope with the pain, push it down until she convinced herself it didn’t exist any longer. Phil had never been there for Madison, she had learnt not to rely on him a long time ago. Drink had always been more important to Phil than Madison had been, her whole life he had abandoned her. So now she was out on her own, she felt no different. The feeling that Madison struggled to deal with was the feeling of hopelessness. The feeling of hopelessness sucked all her energy and life from inside, destroying every aspect which made Madison, Madison until she was an empty shell. This had become a feeling that Madison was not quite equipped to deal with.

  The mass infliction of feelings consumed her. She lay motionless on the floor of the bath tub, the hot water running over her shivering naked body. Her tears ran thick and fast, but were disguised by the flowing water that rained down upon her. This would be the only and last time Madison would allow the pain to surface. After tonight Madison vowed she would not shed a single tear for Phil or her life before London.

  * * *

  Madison couldn’t remember how long she had been on the floor of the bath tub, but it was long enough for her toes and fingers to wrinkle. She managed to somehow pull her lifeless body up out of the bath tub and turn off the shower, wrap a towel around her naked body and get into one side of the double bed. The digital clock of the bedside table read 2.55am. It was earlier what Madison thought, her mind was exhausted – she had been up for nearly 24 hours and was emotionally exhausted. The pain that had consumed her in the bathroom room had now passed, but it had left her with emptiness in her pit of her stomach. She lay in the bed staring into the thick darkness of the room, the duvet pulled up under her chin -her body still shaking violently beneath the covers. Her mind was blank. She was in a catatonic state staring blankly into the empty space like Phil did when he had one of his episodes. Madison remained still for what felt like a few minutes before casually glancing at the digital clock once again, 3.23am it read. Time moved more quickly when there was nothing to think about.

  Madison pulled the towel off her naked body from underneath the covers and dropped it on the bedroom floor. The sheet on the mattress felt damp against her bare skin, but she didn’t care. Her hair was still wet and clung to the pillow making it damp. A few tears streaked down her cheeks and dropped onto the already dampen pillow. She lay motionless in the bed unable to sleep, the tears continued to flow, but she did not cry out. Without warning her eyelids slowly began to shut, sleep sucking her into the black hole of unconsciousness.

  Madison’s legs bucked beneath her, she almost fell but she managed to stagger up straight and carry on running. The alleyway seemed even darker then it had in her first dream. Her feet slipped on the wet concert floor as she powered through with every stride, trying to keep ahead of the unknown danger that pursued her. The calves of her legs screamed painfully as she pushed her herself faster and faster – increasing her speed. The sound of footsteps echoed the alleyway from behind her; they were not the footsteps of someone running or moving with any pace, but the footsteps of someone taking slow and heavy footsteps. This terrified Madison more than being chased - the knowledge that her pursuer was still gaining on her without even breaking a sweat. All her strength wouldn’t make a difference; she knew it would only be a matter of time before the danger caught up with her. All her efforts were worthless and she knew it. Madison couldn’t help but feel hopeless, her mind had come to terms with death, but her heart wouldn’t let her give up. It pushed her onwards through the thick blackness towards the small flicker of light at the end of the alleyway. The darkness which clung to the alley was they blackest darkness Madison had ever seen, too dark to see through and consuming as it closed in around her. Madison had little choice but to run into the unknown, there was nowhere else to escape to. Her heart was beating so loud it drowned out the sound of her feet thumping against the concrete as she sprinted down the long alleyway. The beating of her heart began to synchronise with the heavy footsteps from behind, becoming louder and more pronounce. The palms of her hands were wet and clammy as she made a fist in an attempt to force herself further down the alleyway. Madison passed a large green dumpster, wet newspapers scattered on the floor around the dumpster like the dream she had had in the taxi on the way to the Travel Lodge. Her heart jumped into her mouth and sweat poured from her forehead as she realised as she passed the dumpster that it would not be long until she was grabbed by the unknown danger – pulling her backwards into the darkness. Tears spilled out over her cheeks. Hopelessness and fear thundered through her, there was nothing she would do to escape. Using what strength she had left, Madison pushed her legs harder - ordering them to move faster. Panic erupted causing her to whimper hysterically as she tried frantically to put distance between herself and the thing that intended to hurt her. It was as if she was running on the spot, never gaining any distance or building up any real speed. Everything Madison tried was useless there was no escape. The footsteps grew louder, they echoed around the alley sending vibrations up Madison’s legs deep into her bones. The pursuer was now hot on her heels. She had already played this scene out once before and she knew what was about to occur, it was just the decision to either stop and allow the inevitable to happen or try to push forwards to achieve a different outcome. Madison spun her head around trying to catch a glimpse of the danger as it grabbed her this time. The alleyway was empty, darkness closed all around her. Pale arms flew at Madison from the front, she screamed as it knocked her off her feet onto the damp littered concrete. Hands grabbed her legs and sharp fingernails tore into her fresh causing small beads of blood to spill down her calves and drop onto the black concrete. Madison howled in pain, screaming at the top of her lungs, fear consumed her as gravel cut into her arms and back as she was pulled swiftly backwards into the darkness.

  Madison sat up in bed, beads of sweat rolled down her forehead. She panted as she scanned the room frantically expecting to see the same arms coming for her out of the darkness of the room. The bedroom was a bright golden orange from the sun which poured in through the small bedroom window. Madison had failed to draw the curtains before she had fallen asleep this morning, allowing the sun to illuminate the room freely. Her suitcase remained at the foot of the bed where she had left it and the bathroom door was open ajar. Madison blinked several times and rubbed her eyes, the glare from the sun made her eyes ache. Lifting both arms into the air she stretched her achy body. The muscles in her arms pulled and throbbed from dragging the heavy suitcase around last night. Squinting, she glanced at the clock - 8.05am it read. She had been asleep for little than five hours, but it was long enough for her to feel refreshed and more coherent. Looking down Madison realised she was still naked; she quickly pulled the duvet up over her small round breast and tugged it under her armpits. Leaning forward over the foot of the bed Madison searched around on her floor for her handbag. Her finger tips met the soft strap of the leather handle; she pulled the handbag onto the bed and grabbed her mobile phone from inside – flipping the small black phone open. The conscious decision to ring Stephanie had not occurred to her, but before she knew it she was dialing Stephanie’s number. Over the years Stephanie had become accustom to Madison’s late night calls where she generally sobbed hysterically down the phone because Phil had trashed the house or repeatedly woke her up with one of his 'all night mega-benders'. Mega benders normally consisted of as much alcohol as Phil could possibly consume, picking up some council estate trash from the local pub, taking her back to Madison’s house where they would listen to loud music, smoke pot and have sex repeatedly in the lounge. One night stands were common for Phil. Madison often came home to find a half-naked equally drunk woman in the lounge. Phil never brought another woman back to his bedroom, he rarely slept in his own bedroom since Madison Mother dying – a part of him still saw it as the marital bed, so he never used it. This sort of behavior could g
o on for days with various different women until Phil got bored and went back to his comatose state.

  She placed the phone to her ear, it began to ring instantly. Madison sighed and braced herself; she wasn’t sure how Stephanie would react. She would be hurt and angry that Madison had not contacted her as soon as the incident happened, but she would eventually realise the lengths Madison had gone to was for the best.

  “Hello” Stephanie answered after three rings.

  “Hey, Steph” Madison said casually.

  “Hey babe, what’s up? Why are you ringing now? Thought we were meeting up after work?” Stephanie said a flicker of suspicion in her voice.

  Madison explained what had happened and how she had left Thatcham and travelled to London to escape Phil and the life she had been forced to lead for so many years. She left out the parts about Brendan and the two hooded boys, they were irrelevant and Stephanie would only worry if she knew Madison was hallucinating.

  Stephanie remained quiet throughout the conversation, she hummed in agreement to parts that Madison needed her approval and gasped in shock at the parts that made Madison well up once again. She told Stephanie everything up until the moment she had picked up the phone to call her. There was a paused in Stephanie’s response. Madison imagined Stephanie absorbing the information, a horror stricken expression spread across her face.

  “Umm… Maddy? I don’t know what to say… Why London? You know without a doubt you could have come to mine. We would have looked after you!” Stephanie finally said a flicker of hurt in her voice.

  Stephanie was her best friend and up until now, she had relied on her completely. Stephanie’s and Julie’s house had always been a safe haven for Madison, which she called on more often then she should have, Thatcham no longer felt safe for Madison – so she had to leave.

  “I know. I just… couldn’t. Steph, I love you. But I can’t stay in Thatcham any more, there’s too many bad memories there for me” Madison tried to explain.

  “But still… London? Why don’t you stay somewhere a closer?” she asked, hurt still crippling her voice.

  “I don’t know. I guess I started to think about all those times when we were younger and we talked about moving to London together, renting an apartment here? It made sense at the time and it‘s far enough away for Phil not to bother looking for me” she protested.

  Stephanie fell silent again. Madison could almost hear Stephanie’s brain ticking through the receiver of the phone.

  “Where are you staying?” she asked finally, her voiced was laced with concern – the hurt had now begun to diminish.

  “In a Travel Lodge at the moment. I’m going to look for somewhere more permanent today, probably just a bed-sit or something for the time being and then hopefully find a job. When I‘ve found somewhere to stay, you can come stay with me… that’s if you want too?” Madison said excitedly.

  “You just try and keep me away” Stephanie laughed.

  Relief washed over Madison, it would have ended her completely if she had lost Stephanie over this. Stephanie was her family and friend, she was everything to her.

  “Just… Be careful. London is a dangerous place for a good looking girl like you to be there alone” Stephanie continued.

  “I don’t think anyone would want to come near me with the way my face is looking at the moment” Madison chuckled. The image of the Brendan popped into her mind, she was overwhelmed with a need to tell Stephanie about the dark handsome stranger, but she knew today wasn’t the right time. She would fill Stephanie in on Brendan when things had settled down.

  “God, Maddy! Are you okay?” Stephanie said sympathetically, concern heightened in her voice.

  “Yeah I’m fine, honesty. It looks worse than it is” Madison lied. The pain behind her eye socket throbbing once again. She put her hand to her forehead and rubbed it, trying to clear some of the frustration and pain.

  Stephanie fell silent once again. Madison knew Stephanie well enough to know she didn’t believe her lies, but she also knew that Stephanie wouldn’t argue with her about it.

  “Maddy, phone me later please?” she asked gently.

  “Of course” Madison said, nodding in agreement.

  “Ok. I’ve got to go to work. Ring me tonight.”

  “Yep. Bye, Steph. Love you”

  “Love you” Stephanie said hanging up.

  Madison flipped the phone close and threw it onto the bed. She touched the swollen lump beneath her eye socket and winced as it stung instantly from her touch. She sat on the bed feeling slight relieved by the sound of Stephanie’s voice, her mind wondered over what to do next. She had told Stephanie that her next move was to find a permanent place to live. Madison knew that she couldn’t stay in the Travel Lodge more than a couple of nights, the cost per night would soon eat up her savings if she didn’t mind a permanent place to live soon. Getting motivated, she threw back the bed sheets exposing her naked body to the cool air of the bedroom. She got out of bed and headed to the suitcase at the foot of the bed. Madison led the suitcase down and unzipped it exposing a mass off screwed up clothes and accessories. She pulled out a simple white bra and a pair of white pants, a pair of blue baggy trousers, a plain white t-shirt and a pair of socks. Madison got dressed on the floor of the small bedroom, pulling one item of clothing on after another. Once she was dressed she took out the toothbrush from the front pocket of the suitcase and grabbed the makeup bag which was buried underneath a pile of jumpers and headed to the bathroom. Madison brushed her teeth and gently cleaned her face. Carefully, she began to examine the damage to her eye in the small mirror above the white basin. It was swollen, but the pink patch at the bottom of her eye socket had now begun to turn purple. It was angry and sore, but Madison knew she had to cover it up as best as she could if she was going to leave the Travel Lodge today. Large dark circles hung around her each of her eyes, the dark circle around her damaged eyes blended perfectly into the bruising - she would try to cover those up as well. Her hair was a little wild from going to bed with wet hair, but with a quick brush it would be presentable.

  Madison pulled out a veil of foundation from her makeup bag and squeezed a large dollop into her hand. Being gentle of the bruising she began to rub the foundation into her face, blending it in. She persistently added more foundation and blended it, trying to cover up the bruising below her eye. It was too purple to be fully covered by the foundation, but she now looked reasonable. No one would notice at a distance. Madison finished her makeup with some blusher, giving her pale face some colour and a little bit of mascara to enhance her eyes.

  She left the bathroom, grabbed her leather waist-length jacket and slipped it on. She picked up her handbag, throwing her mobile phone inside and popped her Ugg boots on before heading toward the bedroom door. Madison pulled out a pair of black sunglasses from her handbag and slipped them on, she picked up the plastic key card from the dresser before exiting the room.

  It was a little before 9am - Madison would have to check out of the Travel Lodge at 2pm, so she had a few hours to find somewhere more permanent to stay before she would be charged for another night.

  A middle aged woman sat behind the reception desk in the lobby, she smiled as Madison approached.

  “Good Morning, checking out?” she asked politely.

  “Not yet. Do you know where I might find the nearest estate agent?” Madison asked shyly.

  “Ok. There’s one about half a mile down the road in that direction” she said, holding out her bony little hand and pointing to the right.

  “It’s right in the middle of town next to Jane’s bakery” she continued.

  “Great, thanks” Madison smiled faintly behind the large overpowering sunglasses.

  * * *

  There wasn’t a cloud in the sky; the whole horizon was a beautiful shade of summers blue. The sun was warm against Madison skin, but there was still a slight chill in the breeze which caused her to zip up her coat. She strolled down the pavement, not really rushi
ng, taking in all surroundings. Small shops and boutiques lined either side of the road. They were beautiful compared to the shop in Thatcham, quirky and trendy window displays stood in each shop window. Madison could have spent days riffling through the shops exploring the every inch of them, hunting for bargains and little antics to furnish her new life with. A Sea’s of people flowed out from the entrance of an Underground terminal; they headed straight towards Madison who shifted awkwardly on the pavement. She had never seen so many people in her life, it caused her to constantly change direction and weave in and out of people. She found herself being pushed and pulled in all directions, she almost felt panicked by the amount of people and how easy it would have been to become lost within the bodies.